Now that we’ve laid the groundwork of some networking fundamentals, let’s do deep dive into how to build the “genuine relationships” that everyone seems to agree is the goal of professional networking.
Networking occurs in the context of trying to get to know someone in order to assess if/how you can work together. There is an art to being naturally genuine in highly constructed contexts like large industry conferences. What does it mean to be genuine in somewhat artificial environs? And can we be honest about the fact that networking benefits from an element of performance?
1. Timing is Everything
Professional networking is different in some key ways from hanging out at a friend’s backyard BBQ, but the differences are less significant than the similarities. Professional networking occurs when people are temporarily brought together, either by their own design or someone else’s, for the purposes of meeting professionals in their field or industry. The ultimate goal is for people to build connections that further one or both of their business interests, either now or in the future.
The time factor is important here: if you approach each new connection like it might manifest something in future, rather than it has to right now, you’ll come off as more relaxed and confident, and it is also likely to make you more attractive as someone to talk with.
2. Be Your Most Social Self
A definition: Being “genuine” in the context of industry networking means leaning into whatever version of you feels best and works best for you in most other social contexts.
Psychologist Brené Brown defines authenticity as being one person in all the different areas of your life. It requires energy and stress to have to try and remember who you are in each context, and then try and act accordingly, versus acting from an authentic impulse that is grounded in who you are when you feel relaxed and comfortable. Nathaniel Brandon, the foremost researcher on self-esteem, has definitively linked confidence with the feeling of being relaxed.
Acting as if you felt relaxed and comfortable, at a large industry event, for example, requires a bit of courage. But it is worth it. It is a skill and becomes easier with practice. And, if your conversation manifests a longterm partnership, you’ll want that person to get to know the real you anyway.
3. Do a Social Inventory
Ask yourself what are the core qualities that you like about yourself in social settings. Start by thinking about who you are with your very best friends. Make a list, and then modify any of those aspects that wouldn’t translate well in a professional context.
It may help to do a social inventory among your friends, and ask what qualities people associate with you. But start with your own assessment, so you’re not immediately going to external sources. Focus on the things that spark joy for you when you hear them, and amplify those. In time and with practice, leaning into your strongest social attributes will help ground you in unfamiliar contexts and help you build genuine relationships.
(Keep in mind, there are degrees of professionalism that are more and less appropriate in professional settings. You’ll probably want to err on the conservative side at a dinner with a senior person in your field, while leaning into your humor with peers at a conference. As long as it’s kindhearted and not putting others down, your sense of humor lets people in, while the same choice may make you seem cavalier to would-be mentors.)
4. Wrapping Up
We hope you’ve found this post on how to build genuine relationships in the context of professional networking helpful! In our next post, we’re going to hone in on the specifics of networking for introverts.
Photo by fauxels.
